THUNDER ALLEY (1967)

Today, in the memory-fogged use of hindsight, some lament over Annette Funicello not getting the chance to break out as a legitimate actress. This was irrelevant in the mid-Sixties as young ticket buyers never gave a thought to her acting abilities. She does have a pulse in this film, however, doing a good job with a wide range of emotions. This predictable film was not as successful as the previous year's "Fireball 500" though it again stars Funicello with co-star Fabian Forte.

Kenneth Crane and Ronald Sinclair managed to edit this "auto racing beach party" film down to a lengthy ninety minutes. They still did not leave enough frames on the editing floor. This was the last American International Pictures film for Funicello. A timely departure given the studio's transition to rougher, psychedelic biker films and anti-Vietnam war projects. Director Richard Rush leaves behind the previous teenage beach comedies in an effort to “adultify” the characters from those innocent, music-filled films where boy meets girl and they behave themselves. Monroe Askins' frenetic, effective cinematography during a post-race wild party changes that. This is typical drive-in movie fare. Funicello’s disapproving character leaves the party early, but as she anemically sings a love ballad in her pre-teen whisper, she removes a cigarette pack. You can hear Walt Disney’s pipe hit the floor after dropping from his mouth. But she is only putting it and other packs in a case for someone else. Whew!

Though imagining that teen idol, Fabian Forte, came up with that stage name, he was actually born with it. His acting strength in this genre was his ability to act cocky on screen. But his cardboard performances flashes a yellow caution flag for any high school drama department as he does not quite leave the late Fifties behind. His character is a promising stock car driver whose blackouts—when boxed in—create track havoc. He causes a crash that kills a popular driver and he is suspended from professional racing. The authorities think he caused the crash for personal gain. Disgraced—mostly for driving around in his customized Dodge Charger—he is also desperate for work, willing to accept driving on the county fair bumper-car circuit. Race team owner, the lumpy Stanley Adams, initially shy's away from the controversial competitor.

Forte ends up accepting a job as a daredevil driver for a cheap demolition derby owned by a tightwad promoter, Jan Murray, whose daughter, Funicello is one of his drivers along with fellow driver and boyfriend, the unassuming Warren Berlinger. Forte offers advice on how better to do Funicello's upcoming stunt. She is not happy about her unsuccessful attempts, thinking it is because of her father’s unwillingness to spend money for a more powerful engine. Fabulous Forte suggests it is not power but speed being the issue. Start farther back and get a good run on the ramp. Duh! She agrees with his obvious assessment. No surprise, they are soon on the ramp of romance and Berlinger is permanently in pit lane. Stunt thrill shows remained fairly popular during this era. Doing 2-wheel driving in new Ford Mustangs may have boosted sales—though not necessary.

The vintage footage inserted may perk up the NASCAR historian. The producers were unable or unwilling to match the resolution with the staged film segments, giving the stock footage a blurry, color-altered appearance. Cutaways to the actor’s staged cheering or the motionless studio prop car “driving” is straight out of the Forties. Real track announcer, Sandy Reed, is again on hand to call the races. In shades with microphone in hand, he appears restrained from gesturing wildly by a short cord. During a final race, Forte gets boxed in again and through ghostly flashbacks, comes to grips with his past, dissolving his blackouts. Self-cured and in the good graces of race organizers, he returns to big-time oval racing.

Note: George Barris was imaginative enough but seemed to have problems with the concept of form follows function. Certainly, his claim to fame is television’s Batmobile, which was appropriately cool and had some potentially legitimate functions designed in. His “Dragula” coffin-inspired dragster, Herman Munster’s vehicle of choice, was a clever element in the popular franchise. The mostly white 1966 Dodge Charger in this film is a hacked hunk of outrageous work with an unimaginative side paint scheme, repainted from its original more elaborate scheme for this film. Barris totally negates the NASCAR intended aerodynamics of a fastback by removing the roof over the front passengers. I wonder how much air might have been trapped in the remaining fastback section. That said, the hugely popular Charger probably generated a lot of conversation exiting the drive-in in the family's ten-year-old Buick.

NIGHT TRAIN TO PARIS (1964)

The excitement begins and ends with two men exchanging wrapped deli sandwiches...er...a reel tape and cash at a phone booth. The guy with the cash never makes it home. The other guy retains a fake reel as a deception. Ending in an appropriate sixty-five minutes, this film’s lackluster direction by actor, Robert Douglas, never becomes an exciting spy yarn, hinting that he should stay in the television medium where he was best suited to direct. The repeated filming of the same sequences only lengthens the film. He uses a momentary rocking camera motion only for the train’s first interior set to my annoyance.

An opening jazz score by the modest British composer, Kenny Graham assumes a treat ahead as if to mimic Henry Mancini. The underlying cartoon train graphic—I expected the Pink Panther as engineer—shaves any dangerous edges off the film. So one might anticipate a little humor and it does not go beyond that. One does not come across many films with the yawning, “Day Train to Wherever” title. Only on a night train does one experience death. Filmed by Shepperton Studios in London, it was released by Twentieth Century Fox. It assumes a cool caper television pilot that the networks passed on.

The scene shifts to the office of an airline travel agency and its public relations man, Leslie Nielson, former intelligence officer in the OSS. He is charming and flippant but not convincing whether serious or comedic. Squeezing laughs out of an unfunny script by Harry Spalding is not easy. At this stage in his career, Nielson is not a notable star, yet the average television viewer in America at the time might recognize his face if not his name. For any fan of Nielson's comedic career crescendo, it may be difficult to entirely remove him from his Lt. Frank Drebin character. 

Arriving at his office in a modest tribute hairstyle to the bride of Frankenstein is Alizia Gur in all her exotic allure. A frequent guest star on many American television shows during the period, her acting has not matured since her single Bond film appearance. She arranges a meeting between Nielson and Hugh Latimer—credited as playing Jules Lemoine—fellow OSS officer who wants his pal off to Paris for a secret mission to deliver the tape [real] containing defense information. But Latimer's fake reel becomes his fatal drawback. Upon discovering his body, Nielson gathers unknown material from his apartment for a tedious waste of film. Without any music score, it seems even longer.

Nielson poses as an assistant to a professional photographer and to further the gambit they take along two models, one of which will turn out to be an impostor. Gur fills in as a third model. But even before packing for the special New Year’s Eve Bear Ski Club train, the photographer is stabbed in the back by the short-spiked end of a ski pole. I might have believed his immediate demise had he been struck in a carotid artery. With Gur as his companion, Nielson arrives at the costume party in a “Groucho Marx” prop— Drebin undercover. By midnight, the party is in full swing with era music and “ants in your pants” dancing.

On board is the large, high cholesterol, Eric Pohlmann, responsible for all the deaths in the film. The ski club has an inebriated bear mascot that interacts with Nielson for no apparent reason. The mascot gets a throttling as well and after the boat docks, Pohlmann dons the bear costume to the unknowing travel agent. Their confrontation in Dunkirk is pretty silly but it was not meant to be. He is able to beat the bear costume into submission with repeated blows to the stomach. Meanwhile, Gur’s been busy with her own plan for the tape and her inept pursuit of Nielson is preposterously dull. Nielson ends the film with a lighthearted, freeze-framed expression in “Police Squad” episode fashion.

Notes: Hugh Latimer is credited with playing Jules Lemoine. Adding some confusion, he is introduced to Gur as Georges Freneau. She claimed to be a friend of Lemoine yet, oddly, she never flinches when his undercover name is mentioned.

Finally, back in the day, a ferry shuttled specialty trains from Great Britain to France across the English Channel. Once docked in Dunkirk, the train would continue on to Paris and Switzerland’s slopes. Despite the film’s title neither the audience nor cast ever gets to see Paris. Perhaps a more accurate, but less intriguing title, “The Dunkirk Night Ferry.”

HOT ROD (1950)

Monogram Pictures did the right thing by keeping this a sixty-minute film. One could blame an idealistically inane screenplay by Daniel Ullman for these “break out” kids who use proper grammar and handle adversity with unselfish common sense. Lewis Collins—known for his many westerns—directed. Hollywood had its influence on this film, but these mid-century people actually existed in smaller cities across the United States. In five years, MGM’s “Blackboard Jungle" will portray a harsher rebellion far removed from this milquetoast outing.

Opening voice-over narration describes what a hot rod is against the backdrop of stock footage at El Mirage Dry Lake in California. Edward Kay’s score with frenetic violins supports the film’s opening, reminding one of a 1930s action serial. Poignant, as the hot rods in this film, are souped-up Thirties coupes. With World War Two stagnating the auto industry’s creativity, the hot rod culture was born out of a need for something completely different. The music takes a serious tone as we see an overturned hot rod along a county road. Racing in the desert is legal and safer whereas street racing is for “Club Ignorant” members. The crux of the film.

Six hot rods, two rows three-abreast, race on a straight stretch of road for bragging rights with the pavement barely wide enough for them to stay on the concrete. Unbelievably, the road’s finish line is lined with high school fans, many standing on the edge of the pavement. Though the starting point is completely out of sight, the gang is already cheering wildly. The fans are looking across—not down—the road but Hollywood gives the impression they have the same vantage point as the camera crew. It is called film making. I get it. It takes the racers forever to speed past their classmates due to repeated views of the previous footage. Topping the preposterous scene off is a motorcycle cop—heading in the opposite direction—attempting to halt the speeding hot rods by waving his arms wildly. His death is averted.

James “Henry Aldridge” Lydon (left) seems to reprise his iconic character this time as the son of the town judge, Art Baker, who apparently runs the town. He is not wavering about cracking down on illegal street racing so the teen gene pool is not completely drained. In a rare instance, Myron Healey does not play a crook but a police officer—the older brother to Lydon. Trying to convince “Pop” to support a legal timed strip will not be easy. Lydon buys an old beater and being level-headed, does not add any “soup.” It is just a tired dog of transportation. His best bud and comic relief, Gil Stratton, is full of sarcastic jabs about it. This from a guy whose imprinted cap design—from the front—makes it look like his hair is in curlers. Gloria Winters, Lydon’s spoken for girl since grade school (aka elementary) is embarrassed to ride in his turtle junker. Local demon of speed, Tommy Bond (right) is a hit with the ladies and a twisted crankshaft to Lydon. Lydon and Stratton set out to piece together the fastest rod within the city limits.

Jealous, Bond steals Lydon's pride and joy then sideswipes a sedan in town, parking the car nearby. The police and the entire town, including Winters, assume Lydon is guilty without any proof. This, back when social media was actually social. He escapes a “public hanging” when Bond jumps up in the courtroom to confess. “Judge Dad” is lenient, but orders his own son to get rid of the hot car nonetheless. But...fate moves its huge hand—my apologies to screenwriter, Stanford Whitmore. A bank robber saves the day as Lydon’s hot rod catches up with an escaping Cadillac’s license plate. A motorcycle cop and patrol car quickly catch up with Lydon and Stratton who lead the police in the waning moments of the pursuit. This is a pretty realistically filmed chase. For his heroism under preposterous circumstances, Lydon gets a motorcycle police escort back home as the officers vouch for the kid to his father. Hot rods and law enforcement on the same side. There is a highly contrived closing as the judge’s public apology falls on deaf ears at the drag strip’s groundbreaking ceremony.

Note: Gloria Winters is best known to Baby Boomers as Penny on the action-adventure Saturday morning show, “Sky King.” Kirby Grant starred as Schuyler "Sky" King while Penny portrayed his niece who was always consumed by unexpected trouble. The television version began in 1951 and the popular show ran for eight years. As for Tommy Bond, he was the original Jimmy Olson in the Superman serials.

FORGOTTEN FILMS: TV TRANSITION

Though typically overshadowed by Hollywood's A-list, there were respectable performances by numerous actors and actresses who never became major film stars. A common career shift was to the new medium of television. These periodic posts offer insight into their transition.

Myron Healey: Myrton Healey (1923-2005)

Myron Healey began his career during the early 1940s in uncredited and minor supporting roles at various studios, Monogram Pictures among them. Perhaps for commonality, he or the studio changed his name to Myron. There were not many by either name in Hollywood. The low-budget western film is most associated with the actor and he never abandoned the genre as television loomed. He became a familiar face yet his name usually drew a blank. Perhaps many could not make the connection with a despicable outlaw named Myron. Adding to the confusion, he was sometimes credited as Michael.

There were countless television westerns under Healey’s gun belt. His recurring roles or frequented series appearances are the only ones mentioned here beginning with The Lone Ranger (1950-57) with seven appearances. Healey was a frequent visitor on the set of Cheyenne (1955-62). He had a recurring role as Doc Holliday on The Life and Legend of Wyatt Earp (1956-59) and played a doctor twice on the forgotten adventure series, The Man and The Challenge (1959-60). Along the same period, he played Maj. Peter Horry in seven episodes of The Swamp Fox for The Magical World of Disney. Healey left his horse in the stable for several episodes of modern-day dramas, among them Schlitz Playhouse (1955-58) and State Trooper (1957-59). As the Sixties progressed his workload hardly skipped a beat in television or films.

In the Seventies the western was being replaced by detective or police shows. Healey was there as always with numerous appearances on Ironside (1969-72) or Adam-12 (1969-73). But his phone rang less and less as the Eighties drew to a close. An actor does not have much staying power if he is not a team player, like Healey. He was happy to be acting in whatever role he was asked to do without complaining. One sign of a professional. Unfortunately, his professional success did not carry over at home. His four marriages from 1943 to 1971 were all short-term for reasons unknown.

Note: Healey was a child prodigy who sang on radio and performed violin and piano recitals while still in his early teens. He served in World War II as an Air Corps navigator and bombardier in Europe. After the war he continued military duties, retiring in the early 1960s as a captain in the United States Air Force Reserve. His military discipline carried over into his acting career.